What’s in a name?

I have been going to the gym since late Jan and these are the results:

While there I met a guy; interesting one actually! It was my first time at the gym and since he had joined only a week after me, also for his first time, we were naturally paired as gym partners. Other than his francophone accent and undeniable novelty to the scene, his unapologetic social skills made him pop out of the background of gym rats.

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Advice from a total failure

What could a total failure teach you on success? Failure; because the failure has become an expert on how to fail.

 

As I reflect on all failed relationships and projects I have embarked on in my short life, I make the unwelcome realization that I learned my best lessons when I failed than when I succeeded. And so far I have failed a lot so I have learned a lot.

 

So here is one sure way to fail, give people discounts. Ever seen those shops in the mall that always have a discount offer plastered on their windows? How often do you rush in? Maybe once; twice if a friend dragged you in; maybe never? How about those shops that make limited offers, like “while stocks last,” or till a given date? How often do you rush into one of these? Maybe always?

 

If you must give people a discount, make it clear that the offer won’t last forever. And the longer the offer is available, the longer they assume that the discount price is in fact the real price. The offer is no longer as exciting and the goods no longer as valuable.

 

And don’t lower your price just because your goodies are not selling. Be patient, learn to hoard. Buy a refrigerator for the perishables and keep the grains in a cool dry place. Learn the dynamics of the market place so that you know just when to sell for a reasonable price.

 

My point is, every one has to earn their place in your heart. Yes, even family; and yes, even deities. If they value it, they will pay for it; if they don’t, they won’t take it for free.

 

I write this after going through a break-up that was long overdue. And I have gone through a couple this year that were really life changing. And I don’t regret them because now I know just how far I will go to make room for a person/people/deity  in my life. Without these break-ups every relationship that would follow would be at risk of dying the same way.

 

In a nut shell, I am hoarding my goodies. 😉

Image credit: Store-Deep-Discounts

 

Before you get attached

I have been single for a long while; and for all this while I have been unhappy with my status about 90% of the time and have been actively trying to change my status about 10% of the time. Now whereas both these percentages are inaccurate, they go a long way to make the point that for most of the time I have been single, I have been unhappy about it and yet I have invested very little time in being attached and perhaps become happier.

 

Let us focus first on the 90%; It seems to me that singledom is invariable associated with unhappiness or dissatisfaction which I don’t think should be the case because singledom is not like being in a war zone, battling a debilitating or terminal illness or living in poverty. It’s is not something that I should by all means be trying to avoid or get out of as if in this state I can know no happiness nor fulfillment. Whatever the context of my status, at least one thing is true, I am single. Whether I should be working harder at not being single or be less of a jerk so that people would actually consider being attached to me, I am still single; and while I am, I owe it to myself to make it work.

 

Now back to the 10%; I am of the view that I make this even smaller. Why, because for as long as I still have the 90% in the background, I am not ready to be attached. There is a fine line between collaboration and dependence and I don’t want to lose sight of it. While collaborating, both partners were doing okay before they came together to become awesome. But as a dependent, you couldn’t possibly exist without your benefactor the independent and because you bring nothing to the table, the independent could easily severe the partnership at will even without consideration for your needs after the partnership ceases to exist. If I was unlucky enough to become attached before I learn to be happy as a singleton, then I will never know how to be happy outside of being attached. I will become totally dependent on another person for my happiness and that is quite unsustainable.

 

My point is, just because you want out of singledom so badly doesn’t mean you are ready to be in a committed exclusive romantic relationship. By all means first perfect being single before you embark on not being single.

Image credit: img.wallpaperfolder.com