the short version…
A medical student and a deep thinker. I write about a great variety of things but as the tagline suggests, with a twist of medicine; a little influence from the world I live in as a medical student. I am not a good reader so I empathize with people like me by keeping my posts fairly short.
Blogging and social media are probably some of the trickiest things for me to engage in on and off the internet. The reason, they involve me putting myself out there and being an introvert that doesn’t sit well with me. They require me to feign a certain kind of concern in other people’s lives and being a predominantly honest person, that is hypocrisy. Yet I engage in these activities nearly every day, online and offline because I find them rather indispensable.
I have never been a fan of diaries; I couldn’t keep one for more than a month. One time I wrote in a diary in half a year’s entries, but that was because I used it more as a sketch book for my thoughts that I fore-dated. I thought as I do now that getting personal on any retrievable medium is too risky because access to your darkest secrets could easily be granted to the wrong individual or group of individuals. Also being a perfectionist, I prefer typing to writing in indelible ink that cannot be revised without making a mess or formatted easily to make a point. And finally, I am a bit of a narcissist, I don’t like wasting valuable opinions like my own in a diary that no one else will read and follow like a religion.
So why do I have a blog? Because I don’t have a diary. Yes, it is personal but I try not to reveal too much. I want to be out there but not as much.
But am I the only one doing this, curating my thoughts online? No way, a lot of folks do it and even often rather mindlessly. Why? Cos everybody wants to be heard. We don’t want to be stuck with all these voices inside our heads, better let them out before we run crazy! So we talk, write, draw, sculpt, build; we comment, react, share; facebook, tweet, pin; we find whatever means possible to express ourselves because we just can’t keep to ourselves.
Problem is, expression is high stakes, you risk being accepted for who you really are and at the same time being judged and rejected for, well, being yourself. But I had a thought today, everybody that is somebody is judged, I might as well be judged for what is authentically me; a medical student and a deep thinker.