When Sex is on the table

If you watched the power-rangers and you are still a virgin, go kill yourself, because you are going to die a virgin any ways. But if you did not kill yourself yet you are still unmarried, shame on you. Unless you are a guy in which case, high five! If you are a girl who had sex before marriage, how could you? How could you be so selfish? Did you think for a moment about how much shame this could bring your parents? Did you consider how much less bride price your father’s going to fetch for your hand in marriage just because you couldn’t keep your legs together? Huh!?!

Sex has always and will always be a complicated topic for the following reasons:

  1. There is no equality in the standards to which men and women are held for their sexuality
  2. It’s not just physical no matter how sluttish you are
  3. Men don’t get pregnant

 

A few people have tried to level the playing field (read bed) for both men and women but really, just chill. For as long as the above three still stand, it will never be fair between the sexes. The best you can do is cover your tracks and lie about how many men you have banged.

 

But whatever your chosen course of action, whether you are empowered or old-fashioned like me, when sex is on the table, be your own man (or woman). And this is more than just you being sure that you want to do it but also examining why you might actually think it a good idea. Whom have you been listening to, the Priest or Miley Cyrus? What are the scientifically proven facts regarding this encounter? For one, if it’s not on it’s not safe. Secondly, he can still break-up with you right after ravaging you the whole night long and thirdly, you won’t die from lack of sex.

 

Now this post is more for girls than it is for guys but I think it can go both ways. It’s not just sex; at least not like they’d have us believe in the movies. There is due diligence and prerequisites to even a hook-up. Inspect, palpate and even take swabs and biopsies for investigation. Some shit won’t heal and frankly, it’s not worth it.

Featured Image: The cast of Casual. Image from here

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