On the Monday before last, at exactly 10:11 AM, I made a year since my first blog post on wordpress. Now, I wish I could have celebrated it better but I was in a village hospital with no signal and not a lot of time to spare on my hobbies. I didn’t know I would make it this far really; I thought that I’d have run out of ideas by now but there seems to be no end to the craziness that goes through my head.
While at this hospital, I decided to make a list of things that I wanted to achieve before I left. I made a list of things that I should be able to do and another for those that I should know really well. Then I made a commitment that for every one of the three weeks I would be there, I would check my progress against these lists and even reconsider the items on them.
In the beginning, this blog was a means for me to fulfill my divine call to be a teacher. I had much earlier in life discovered that people tended to listen when I spoke and I thought that that was a testimony to my calling to be a teacher. Plus I thought I had learned a lot over my lifetime as a preacher’s kid, 13 years of salvation and 9 years of careful consideration of Christian teaching that sharing this knowledge with the world seemed like a good use for it.
I have evaluated and re-evaluated my activity on this blog so as to not be entirely wasting my time cooking up new posts, drafting and editing, foraging the internet for pictures to go with the posts and sharing them on social media. I often ask myself, “Why am I blogging?” and “Is my current course of action the best at achieving my goals?” These questions have taken me through the changes on tea-break site for a year now and counting.
There are times when it is simpler to remember to consider our lives. In these times, it seems that we are conditioned to look back and wonder, what have I to show for my life? Some of the commonest such moments include: new year’s, anniversaries, birthdays and at the end of seasons in our lives like high school, college or when leaving a job. Some of these moments are simply because we can’t help but compare ourselves with others like when someone we know gets married, bears a child, gets a good job, a fat scholarship; is succeeding at business, academia etc. However, I am of the thinking that whenever we are not intentional with creating such moments, the benefits that they bear are rather limited.
Whenever it randomly comes to your notice that a friend is doing better than you at something, it is often too late for you to try and catch up with them. Because what you are seeing is only the results of a considerable investment of time and efforts at a time when you were sitting back, eating bad and watching re-runs of poorly scripted TV shows. Then you are ashamed and depressed at how worthless you are to the human race that you can’t master the strength to pull your shit together so you end up in an even worse place than you were before you knew what your friends were up to.
But when you are intentional about “seeing your life” on a regular basis, comparing it with other people’s with whom you should be at par with, appraising your abilities, opportunities and challenges, you are able to face disappointment in manageable chunks and fine tune your machine to deliver the best results in whatever sphere of life; be it knowledge and wisdom, friends and family or money and power.
So looking back on a year of blogging, I ask myself, what have I learned? – that nothing on the internet is secret. Sometimes I would look at my stats on wordpress and be fooled that my blog is actually not so popular. I mean, other than the more than four hundred subscribers via email, nobody reads my blog! But whenever I posted something exceptionally interesting, my friends and family would find me in person and offer their views. This was humbling because I knew then that I actually had a product to offer however little (or rather non-existent) it’s monetary value but also scary because I realised that I was not screaming into a desert. Google-literate employers could easily stumble upon my blog and make a decision whether or not to hire me basing on it, extremists could easily use it as justification for burning me at the stake and even my relationships might be modified by what I share in my posts.
It is for this reason that I wonder, why are self respecting, highly educated, potentially reputable men and women so careless in what they share on the internet. I mean, they make it so easy for us to disregard them as psychotic, senseless, ignorable dignified trash of society. But who am I to judge? God knows I have made a multitude of mistakes on the internet. Any ways, I am conscious of this and only hope that the benefits outweigh the costs of running this blog.
In conclusion, I hope to see you at our two years’ anniversary and that I will give more than I take from the people that read my blog.
From me to you with love.