There was this one surgeon at our teaching hospital that most people would agree to be mean, and her reputation preceded her. Even before we met her, most of us were sure that she was mean. But a good friend of mine told me that she was keeping an open mind hoping that she just might prove everybody else wrong. But I thought to myself, everybody else can’t be wrong.
This friend of mine said something in her defense that got me thinking. She said, “I want to have my own unbiased opinion about people.” So she ignores what people say and goes on to experience people first hand. But I thought to myself then as I do now, that is a huge waste of time.
They say first impressions matter a lot. Why? Because people’s judgments of you are pretty much final after the first minute of your first encounter with them. But how could it be that the impressed knows so much about the impresser that they can make a thorough and final judgment of them within a minute? My guess is, the impressed has actually already met the impresser prior to this “first” encounter. Their impression of the impresser was pretty much complete before they met.
There are no unbiased opinions. Have you ever met anyone that you instantly hated? They had done nothing wrong to deserve your disdain and yet you were convinced that they were villain. Truth is that it is not them that you find repulsive, but the thousand people you have met that are repulsive and look like them. They have the eyes of your bully back in high school, same hair as your evil step mom and the perfect body just like that of your first heart break. They are the embodiment of all that hurt you in the past and all that comes to memory within the first minute of your novel encounter.
This is my biased and never humble opinion, only babies and naïve adults are capable of having truly unbiased opinions on people. The rest of us just have to deal with the fact that we cannot see things any differently than we have seen them a thousand times before. We are truly and irrevocably biased.
Featured Image: Students, International University of Geneva